I cannot believe I am actually doing this.
For a very long time I have held the beliefs that (a) blogging is for narcissists, which honestly makes me question why I had not taken to this earlier. Bringing me to (b) that I really have very little worth saying and will simply wind up making a fool of myself for the entire (cyber) world to see.
I had a blog once. When I travelled abroad or whatever fancy term the kids are using these days is. And as this one starts I wanted to go back and read that.
I really knew something once. I really knew Someone. And its not that I have lost God or the faith. It’s just I have lost the poetry in it. Which always seems to be the first thing to go. I can read what I thought or wanted, what passions drove me. What made me angry and what made me angry with myself. I was once convicted and vulnerable. And I want to be back there. But unfortunately, the ‘smarter’ I become, the farther away and more out of reach that place is. The poetry, it seems, was in the simplicity of the matter. And I am just a lost poet, far too complex to say what I mean or even think it. I have lost focus. (which seems an ongoing theme in my life, as I am currently favoring this blog post over my English homework.)
Since the blog is 'technically' about me going to college, I guess this is a good thought to start with. They say introspection helps with such things, and I guess this counts as introspective? Let’s see if I can’t get a hold on things. Here goes poetic, cause I remember it’s in there.
P.S. I am not going to go around encouraging people to read this, because that just feeds back into point (a) and as for point (b) well, those of you who do find and read this will have to let me in on that.
P.P.S. thanks Sista. She set this up.
